When Grief Changes Everything
When Grief Changes Everything
Finding hope after the loss of someone you love
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.” — Psalm 34:18, KJV
Grief has a way of dividing life into two parts: what life was like before the loss, and what life is like now.
Someone you loved was here. You could hear their voice, call their phone, sit beside them, laugh with them, or simply know they were there.
And now they aren't.
People may tell you that time heals all wounds. They may encourage you to stay busy, be strong, or try to move forward. Usually they mean well. But when your heart is broken, those words can feel painfully small.
The Bible gives us something different.
It doesn't tell us that people of faith aren't supposed to grieve. Jesus Himself wept when Lazarus died. The Bible doesn't pretend death isn't painful.
Instead, Christianity offers something grief desperately needs:
Hope.
You Can Grieve and Still Have Hope
The Apostle Paul wrote about Christians who had died and told believers not to grieve “even as others which have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
Notice what he didn't say.
He didn't say, “Don't grieve.”
He said we don't have to grieve without hope.
There is a tremendous difference.
Faith doesn't require you to pretend that losing someone doesn't hurt. You can miss someone terribly and still believe God is good.
You can cry and still have faith.
You can have questions and still trust God.
You can feel an empty place in your life while believing that death does not get the final word.
Our Hope Has a Foundation
Christian hope isn't merely wishing that everything will somehow turn out okay.
Our hope rests on something that Christians believe actually happened: Jesus Christ died and rose again.
The resurrection is at the center of Christian hope because it tells us that death isn't greater than God.
Jesus said:
“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” — John 11:25, KJV
That doesn't make today's pain disappear.
But it changes what today's pain means.
For someone who trusts in Christ, death is not the end of the story.
You Don't Have to Understand Everything Today
Grief often produces questions.
Why did this happen?
Why now?
Why didn't God stop it?
What am I supposed to do next?
Sometimes people feel pressured to find spiritual answers for questions that may not have simple answers.
You don't have to understand everything in order to trust God.
Faith sometimes sounds less like, “Now I understand,” and more like:
“God, I don't understand this at all. But I'm going to hold onto You.”
God is not frightened by your questions.
He is not offended by your tears.
He is not asking you to pretend.
Bring the broken heart to Him exactly as it is.
Just Take the Next Step
When grief is heavy, thinking about the next year can be overwhelming.
So don't start there.
Ask God for enough strength for today.
Get out of bed.
Eat something.
Call somebody you trust.
Take a walk.
Pray, even if the only words you can find are, “God, please help me.”
Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow.
God can meet you today.
There Is Still Hope
There may always be a place in your heart that misses the person you lost. Love leaves a mark.
But grief does not mean your story is over.
God is still present.
God is still good.
God is still able to carry you through a season you never wanted to enter.
And because of Jesus Christ, Christians can look even beyond this life and say:
Death is real. Grief is real. But death does not have the final word.
A Prayer
Father, my heart hurts.
You know what I have lost, what I miss, and all the things I wish could be different.
I don't understand everything that has happened, but I need You.
Give me strength for today. Comfort me when the loneliness comes. Help me remember that You are close to the brokenhearted.
And when I can't see very far ahead, help me hold onto the hope I have in Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Scripture quotations: King James Version, public domain.
Background reading: This article's theme was informed in part by Mark D. Roberts' Hopeful Grief: Is It Possible?, originally published by The High Calling / Theology of Work Project. This article is newly written and does not reproduce that source text.
When Anxiety Won't Let Go
Finding peace when your mind keeps asking, “What if?”
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
Anxiety is exhausting.
Your body can be sitting perfectly still while your mind feels like it is running a hundred miles an hour.
What if this happens?
What if I lose my job?
What if the test results are bad?
What if something happens to my family?
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if things never get better?
Sometimes the situation you're worried about is very real. Other times, anxiety takes something that might happen and forces you to experience it over and over before it ever does.
Either way, telling yourself to “just stop worrying” usually doesn't help very much.
Thankfully, that isn't God's invitation.
His invitation is much better:
Bring it to Me.
God Never Asked You to Carry Everything
Jesus said:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28, KJV
Think about those words.
He didn't say, “Get everything under control, then come to Me.”
He said come.
Come tired.
Come afraid.
Come confused.
Come when your faith feels strong.
Come when your faith feels weak.
Come when you have prayed about the same problem fifty times.
You are not bothering God by bringing Him something again.
Anxiety and Faith Can Exist in the Same Moment
Some people feel guilty because they struggle with anxiety.
They think, “If I really trusted God, I wouldn't feel this way.”
But experiencing fear doesn't automatically mean you don't have faith.
Faith is often demonstrated by what you do with your fear.
You can be afraid and still pray.
You can be uncertain and still obey.
You can feel overwhelmed and still decide that God is trustworthy.
Sometimes faith is simply turning toward God for the hundredth time today.
Separate Today's Problem From Tomorrow's Possibility
Anxiety loves the future.
It takes tomorrow's possibilities and places today's emotional weight on your shoulders.
Jesus taught:
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” — Matthew 6:34, KJV
This doesn't mean we shouldn't plan.
It means we aren't meant to live every possible tomorrow today.
Ask yourself:
What actually needs my attention right now?
Maybe there's a phone call you need to make.
Maybe there's a bill you need to address.
Maybe there's an apology you need to give.
Maybe there's nothing you can do about the situation today.
If you can do something, ask God for wisdom and do the next responsible thing.
If you cannot do anything, give yourself permission to place it in God's hands.
Remember Who Is Carrying You
Peace doesn't come from knowing exactly how every problem will be resolved.
Sometimes peace comes from remembering Who will be with you regardless of what happens.
God already knows the tomorrow you're worried about.
Nothing you encounter will surprise Him.
You may not know what is ahead, but you don't have to walk into it alone.
Get Help When You Need It
Prayer and practical help are not enemies.
Talking with a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or medical professional when anxiety is becoming overwhelming is not a failure of faith.
God often helps people through other people.
Reach out.
You don't have to struggle silently.
For Today
You do not need enough strength for next month today.
You don't even need tomorrow's strength today.
Ask God for today's strength.
Then take today's next step.
And when the anxious thought returns, you can return to God again.
A Prayer
Father, You know everything I'm worried about.
Some of these fears are things I can do something about, and some are completely outside my control.
Give me wisdom to know the difference.
Help me do what I can and surrender what I cannot.
Quiet my mind when fear begins running ahead of me. Remind me that tomorrow is already known to You.
Help me trust You one day, one decision, and sometimes one moment at a time.
Amen.
Scripture quotations: King James Version, public domain.
Background reading: This article's theme was informed in part by Bonnie Gray's When Anxiety Strikes, originally published by The High Calling / Theology of Work Project. This article is newly written and does not reproduce that source text.